Gozo and Pensions

Throughout 2016 I had been trying to arrange another holiday with Tanya. Without much success because the Russian economy had become much worse and she had lost her good job with the main oil company in the country. So money was tight and she had managed to find some teaching work to keep her going. This was one reason - she couldn't get away other than at school holiday times and, although she didn't say so, I guess that in the holiday times she wasn't keen to leave Kristina alone. Her parents, though, would normally help in that respect or I was happy to try and accommodate her daughter too if prices were reasonable. I tried so many times to arrange something but almost every time there seemed to be a problem. I had found a good friend in Germany through the Corgi Toys and he, Andi, had very kindly offered us an apartment in Braunschweig near where he lived where his ex-wife lived but she would eb away at the time we had planned a trip. The flights to Hanover or Berlin were easy and inexpensive and I was thinking we had it arranged but she backed out at the last minute.

I tried Georgia, quite close to Rostov-on Don. No, she couldn't go there, apparently. I tried Romania, another short trip. No luck. I asked her to suggest somewhere but she didn't come up with anything very quickly. It seemed still clear that she wanted to meet again and he messages were kind but she just was not making this easy.

Then I got in touch with an old friend from the 1980s, Derek Phillips. He had recently got married in or on Gozo, Malta, where he had moved after his dad had died and after he'd had some health trouble as a result of an accident in the police force. I hadn't made the wedding, basically because I didn't think I could afford the trip and didn't really want to go on my own. I had tried to persuade Tanya but she couldn't get away at that time either. I had written to Derek to apologise for not attending but would love to see him one day. That was when I realised just how inexpensive tickets were to Malta!

That immediately became an obvious place to take Tanya. Derek said that he could put us up at his apartment where they had a spare double bedroom and we could use the apartment much of the time as they were out a lot anyway. It really was ideal. I told Tanya about this and she seemed very pleased and interested. I looked up flights for both os us. Mine were dead simple at around £30!! Hers were a bit more complicated but I found some flights that she could take from Rostov to Istanbul and then down to Malta. They were not that cheap but still pretty reasonable and we could have a lovely 10 days or so in the sun with free accommodation. Wonderful, I thought. I gave Tanya all the details, times and everything and she was also looking forward to the holiday.

I was about to book the tickets when I though I should just make absolutely sure Tanya was OK about it all. It had been, after all, nearly two years since our last meeting in Prague. It was just as well that I did. Her reply was to say that she was very sorry but she couldn't go. She said that she wasn't happy flying at night and didn't really want to wait at Istanbul in the early hours of the morning. She had said that she would try, though, and the wait was not that long or difficult. I had chosen the best times that were available for her. She was, as I said, very sorry about all the trouble she was causing me and for her past indecision too. She said that she simply couldn't get away and added that she thought that this should be the end of our relationship too. As a romance, that is, we could remain friends if I wished but she would understand if I didn't.

I had almost expected this somehow. Her reluctance to agree a place. Her problems with night flights and then telling me that there were virtually no times when she would be able to get away all added up. I was quite sad to lose whatever it was that we had but also agreed that there rally was no future. If we had met it would have been for sex and some friendship but nothing by way of a permanent relationship, living together or anything like that. It was unfair that I should expect her to stay faithful to me in such circumstances, although she did make it clear that there was no other man in her life. She just didn't see how we could work out. She was right, of course. I knew that but didn't admit it to myself and I had hoped that occasional meetings would provide some interest for both of us for a few more years. But I had no long-term plan. So I was, in many other ways, relieved.

I was a bit annoyed, though, as it would have been a great 'holiday' for us and now I had to tell Derek who would definitely be questioning my sense and choice of girlfriend! 

He understood, of course, and said I should still come over. I did in April and had the most marvellous time. I fell in love with the island almost immediately. Derek took me around everywhere and I loved the scenery and climate. The food was maybe not so great but the coffee and cakes were fine! Everyone spoke English, cars drove on the left. It was peaceful, not rushed and just a lovely place to be.

Derek and Julie had an apartment in Xlendi which was a main tourist place by the sea. Small. Everywhere was small on Gozo. One day we actually walked from Xlendi to the capital, Victoria, which is about in the middle of the island. Nowhere is much more than a few kilometres from anywhere else. Nice place. I would love to take someone there.

In July I reached 65 and my finances finally became restored when the old age State pension started. It's quite a lot - about £600 a month and whilst I lose some of the other benefits I had been getting as a result, it makes a huge difference to my ability to get by. I really did feel that I could relax and feel confident that I could pay the bills and eat well.

Bryony had her 21st in the start of July and just before that my friend Andi Richter came to visit from Germany. He was a lovely character and we had several trips around England while he stayed at a park in Silverstone. He rode over on his motorbike all the way. I was a bit worried about my house not being very special but he was fine and din't stay here much anyway. I had boxes everywhere still and still also had piles in Sue's garage in the village.

In December, my friend Adrian asked me to help with some accounts and web stuff for his charity business that he had started. It was a pleasure to help him after he had suffered some depression and difficult times. Life changed for me this year. But I am still alone. Maybe it's meant that way. I did sign up to a dating site again but not the one where I had met Tanya. Back to sorting through all the annoying replies who are not real. I am about to give up.